I always become significantly upset when someone laughs at me. 

My thumb nail had made an unpleasant scratching noise as it grazed the side of my brother's pocket knife clumsily.  My fingers overcompensated for a moment to quickly grasp the knife safely and still in my hands before I messed something else up.  However, this sound had caused him too look up from his drawing next to me, and he smiled a small cute smile to himself.  My eyes must have been a little strained and I held still as if trying to erase my little mishap.  I wonder if I was blushing, but not even that.  My first reaction is to be plain flustered.  I rolled my eyes at him, feeling oddly judged, and put the knife down on the table at the end of my muttering, "WHAT? Why... just... laugh at me."

Before his jaw dropped a little, I already knew I overreacted.  My insides recoiled, and my eyebrows pitched up together as I tried to shy away from my self-inflicted embarrassment.

His little millisecond silence was the cherry on top of my humilation sundae.  "Insecure much?"  He sqeaked in a teasing high voice, looking at me from the corner of his eye since he tilted back toward his drawing.

I could swear my head actually dropped to my chest, and I stared down at the knife a moment before picking it back up to figure out just how I tucked the carabeener back into the side of it.  It is embarrassing that I get so embarrassed.  I can't stand being laughed at; not because I don't like to be considered funny or cute-or cute because I'm funny- but because I hate seeming idiotic or incompitent or like I simply don't know what I'm doing... I don't know why.  I'm so unsure of myself, that I TRY to surround myself with things I know... When I can't do something right the first time, or even the second, I get very angry with myself, very self conscious, very defensive.  I hate the idea of being laughed at because I didn't know how to do something right.  I try to think about why I am this way and don't know how to explain it... is it just... being shy?  Why do I feel like a retard all the time?  Why can't I have confidence enough to do something right, or (especially) even do something wrong? 

Bottom line... I care so much about what someone thinks of me all the time that I don't let myself try anything new.  I don't want to appear stupid, wrong... whatever.  I care so much it's unhealthy, and it has been for me for a very long time.